Tired and Under Prepared
by MelanieeeR
Summary: ONESHOT. MerDer. The game was no longer amusing or content, panic rose along with the bile in her stomach as her mind constructed up a pretend ‘Game Over’ button in her head, even though common sense told her there was no such thing


**T****ired and Under Prepared.**

_**Summary:** ONESHOT. MerDer. After a long, tiring day she returns to an empty home, needing sleep to only discover that the bed hasn't been made._

_**Warning**: Does contain spoiler references, in particular to character death._

_**Disclaimer:** Grey's Anatomy belongs to Shonda Rhimes but she did 'borrow' the characters Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd from me… joking. Reference to the band Coldplay._

_**Author's Note:** This is just a brief one shot about how I imagine Meredith finally dealing with her mother's death. The album ' A Rush of Blood to the Head' by Coldplay was playing when I wrote this so the mood is sad. If you enjoy this check out my other story 'How to be Dead', it has a similar sad theme. That's just the state my life's in so yay to depressing fics!_

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The day had been long and draining.

Patients had died,

Families yelling and crying,

They had all left their mark on her.

Her eyes had dimmed over as the hours ticked on by and had grown heavy from unshed tears.

There was always a better way.

But at the end of the day the bed was still unmade, sheets needed to be washed and an old CD kept her company as the house was unnaturally quite.

Anger swelled at the sight of the dirty kitchen and suddenly the fatigue made its presence known. The nasty monster had reappeared and no amount of coffee was going to repress it.

Still the bed had to be made.

With difficulty she pulled the now clean, warm, crisp sheets out of the dyer and slung them over her shoulder, in preparation for the stairs.

She mirrored the posture of a young solider heading for war, with his spirit already broken, his innocence already shattered.

Coldplay echoed throughout the hallway and bounced off the walls, making her know once again that she was alone.

The CD mechanically changed with a dull thump and the next song continued to dampen her spirit, the soft melody feeding her fatigue.

The bottom sheet was on when suddenly it was all too much.

This wasn't supposed to have happened to her. Her mother wasn't supposed to have just died.

Ellis Grey didn't just die.

The game was no longer amusing or content, panic rose along with the bile in her stomach as her mind constructed up a pretend 'Game Over' button in her head, even though common sense told her there was no such thing.

She pressed it, over and over again desperately praying for it to work. For this – whatever it was- to just end.

She wanted the quick escape, the short cut to a painless life.

Her chest heaved as the battle to contain her tears started to fall and as a groan signalled her surrender, she gently fell towards the ground in a miserable heap.

He caught her and softly whispered sweet nothings in her ear that was easily drowned out by her sobs. No competition.

"No, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO!" filled the air in a cyclone of emotions.

He gripped her tightly and pulled her into his chest, planning to never let her go.

He had been expecting this for days, surprised that she hadn't already collapsed in grief.

He knew the longer it took her the harder and more painful it would be. So he helped her the only way she allowed and the only way he knew how.

The bed was never made that night.

Sheets were dampened for a second time from the amount of tears she shed with grief and even the tears he shed from seeing her in pain.

They slept in a mixture of sheets and blankets, not caring about the state of the bed and only the proximity of each other, he wouldn't let her out of his sight and for that night she welcomed it.

It felt nice of be loved and although that one night wasn't enough and that there would be more nights in the near future just like that one, for the first time since her mother's death, Meredith Grey awoke with a smile on her face, her soul a tad lighter than before.

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**_Reviews make me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside )_**


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